Powerful Wedding Sermon

Rooted And Grounded In Love

Friends, we have gathered today in the presence of God and one another to witness something remarkable. Two people are about to make a covenant. Not a contract with fine print and exit clauses, but a covenant, a binding promise made before God and kept by the power of God. And because that is what is happening here, we need more than good wishes and warm feelings to carry this marriage forward. We need a word from God himself. So let us turn to two texts that, taken together, give us the most honest and most hopeful picture of what Christian marriage can be.

The first is Ephesians 3:14-21, where the apostle Paul bends his knees before the Father and prays one of the most breathtaking prayers in all of Scripture. The second is John 15:9-12, where Jesus speaks to his disciples on the night before his death and says, plainly and without apology, "Love one another as I have loved you."

Let us begin with Paul's prayer, because it tells us something essential about where the strength for a lasting marriage actually comes from.

The Foundation Paul Prays For

Paul writes in Ephesians 3:16-17, "I pray that he may grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with power in your inner being through his Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith." Notice what Paul is praying for. He is not praying for favorable circumstances. He is not praying for an easy road. He is praying that the Spirit of God would strengthen the inner person, and that Christ himself would take up residence in the heart.

That word "dwell" in verse 17 carries the sense of being fully at home, settled in, not a temporary guest but a permanent inhabitant. Paul is praying that Christ would be so at home in each believer that his character, his patience, his forgiveness, his steadfast love, would flow naturally from the inside out.

This is the foundation every marriage needs. Not just shared interests or compatible personalities, though those are gifts. The foundation is Christ dwelling within each person who stands here today. Because the days will come when feelings fluctuate, when misunderstanding clouds the air, when life is harder than either of you expected. On those days, you will not be able to manufacture the love this marriage requires. But if Christ is at home in you, you will have access to a strength that is not your own.

The Dimensions Of Love That Hold A Marriage Together

Paul continues in verses 17-18, praying that you, "being rooted and firmly established in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the length and width, height and depth of God's love." He uses the language of architecture and agriculture together. Rooted, like a tree whose roots go deep enough to hold when the wind rises. Established, like a building set on a foundation that will not shift.

The love Paul describes here is not a feeling that comes and goes. It is a reality so vast that he says it "surpasses knowledge." You can spend a lifetime studying it and still not exhaust it. That is the love into which this marriage is being planted today.

And then Paul reaches the summit of his prayer in verse 20: "Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think according to the power that works in us." The God who holds this marriage in his hands is not limited by your limitations. He is able to do more than you can ask or imagine. That is not a promise that marriage will be effortless. It is a promise that the God who calls you to this covenant is fully capable of sustaining you in it.

The Command That Shapes The Covenant

Now hear Jesus in John 15:9. He says, "As the Father has loved me, I have also loved you. Remain in my love." And then in verse 12, "This is my command: Love one another as I have loved you."

Jesus does not suggest love. He commands it. And the standard he sets is not sentimental. It is the love with which the Father has loved the Son, a love that is eternal, self-giving, and unbreakable. Jesus would demonstrate the full measure of that love within hours of speaking these words, on a cross, for people who did not deserve it.

That is the pattern for Christian marriage. Not a love that is earned or conditional, but a love that chooses the good of the other person even when it is costly. This kind of love is not produced by effort alone. It flows from remaining in Christ, staying connected to the vine, as Jesus describes earlier in that same chapter. A marriage that remains in Christ has access to a love that neither spouse could generate on their own.

A Charge To The Two Of You

To the two of you who stand here today, this is the word of God for your marriage. Let Christ dwell in you, not as a Sunday visitor, but as the permanent resident of your hearts. Be rooted together in a love that is bigger than both of you. When you are strong, draw from that love generously. When you are weak, draw from it humbly. Forgive as you have been forgiven. Serve as you have been served. And remain in Christ, because apart from him, Jesus says plainly, you can do nothing.

The same God who knit the universe together is able to hold your covenant together. Trust him with it. Bring it to him daily. And may you spend your lives discovering, as Paul prayed, just how wide and long and high and deep the love of Christ truly is.

Now to him who is able to do above and beyond all that we ask or think, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Sources Consulted

Thielman, Frank. Ephesians. Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament. Baker Academic, 2010.

Arnold, Clinton E. Ephesians. Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament. Zondervan, 2010.

Carson, D. A. The Gospel According to John. The Pillar New Testament Commentary. Eerdmans, 1991.

Stott, John R. W. The Message of Ephesians. The Bible Speaks Today. InterVarsity Press, 1979.

Schreiner, Thomas R. and Bruce A. Ware, editors. The Grace of God, the Bondage of the Will. Baker Academic, 1995. See especially chapters on the nature of divine love.