What Love Actually Does: A Charge For The Journey Ahead
Friends, family, and everyone gathered here today, welcome. Whatever brought you through these doors, whether faith, friendship, or simply love for the two people standing before us, you are welcome here. We are about to witness something remarkable. Two people are choosing each other, not just for today, but for all the ordinary and extraordinary days that follow.
I am a Christian minister, and the words I bring today come from ancient texts that have guided people through love, loss, and everything in between. You do not have to share my faith to hear what these words have to say. They speak to something deeply human. They speak to what love actually looks like when it gets up in the morning and goes to work.
The Text
We are going to look at two passages today. The first is from the apostle Paul's first letter to the Corinthians, chapter thirteen, verses four through eight, in the Christian Standard Bible. The second is a single verse from the prophet Micah, chapter six, verse eight.
Paul writes: "Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."
And Micah says this: "Mankind, he has told you what is good and what it is the Lord requires of you: to act justly, to love faithfulness, and to walk humbly with your God."
What Love Actually Does
Here is the first thing worth noticing about Paul's description of love. He does not describe a feeling. He describes a behavior. Every word in that list is something love does or refuses to do. Patient. Kind. Not self-seeking. Not keeping score. These are not emotions that wash over you. They are choices you make, often when you do not feel like making them.
This matters enormously for a wedding day. The feeling of love is real and it is wonderful, and it is entirely possible that you feel it powerfully right now. But feelings shift. Life brings pressure. Schedules get crowded. Disagreements surface. Disappointments arrive without warning. What Paul is describing is the kind of love that does not depend on ideal conditions. It is love that functions on a Tuesday in February when nothing is particularly romantic and everything is a little harder than you expected.
Notice that patience comes first. That is not an accident. Patience is the container that holds everything else. It is the willingness to give your partner time, to give the relationship room to breathe, to resist the urge to demand that everything be resolved right now. Patience says, I am not going anywhere. We will work through this together.
Kindness is patience in action. It is the daily decision to speak gently, to extend grace, to choose warmth when irritation would be easier. And then Paul lists what love refuses: envy, arrogance, rudeness, self-seeking, keeping a record of wrongs. That last one deserves a moment. Keeping a record of wrongs is one of the most corrosive habits a marriage can develop. It turns every new conflict into a courtroom where old evidence gets dragged back in. Love, Paul says, does not do that. Love clears the ledger. Not because the hurt was not real, but because the relationship matters more than being right.
And then Paul closes with four tremendous verbs: bears, believes, hopes, endures. These are not passive words. They describe an active, sustained commitment to the other person across time. Love never ends, he says. It outlasts everything that tries to diminish it.
Justice, Faithfulness, And Humility
Now turn to Micah. The prophet is speaking to a whole community, but his words land squarely in the middle of a marriage. Act justly. Love faithfulness. Walk humbly.
To act justly in a marriage means to treat your partner fairly, to honor their dignity, to never use your position or your strength to diminish them. It means making decisions together, sharing burdens honestly, and refusing to exploit vulnerability.
To love faithfulness is to be the person your partner can count on. Not just to stay, but to show up, to follow through, to mean what you say. Faithfulness is not only about fidelity in the narrow sense, though it certainly includes that. It is about being a person of your word in the thousand small ways that build trust over years.
And to walk humbly. This may be the most countercultural word in the list. Humility in a marriage means you do not always have to win. It means you can say I was wrong and mean it. It means you recognize that you are not the finished product, that you are still growing, and that your partner is not your project. You are companions on the same road.
A Charge To The Two Of You
So here is the charge I offer you today, drawn from these ancient words.
Choose patience when the moment calls for reaction. Choose kindness when irritation feels more natural. Refuse to keep score. Bear with each other through the seasons that are harder than this one. Believe the best about each other. Hope together. Endure together.
Act justly toward each other. Love faithfulness as a way of life. Walk humbly, knowing that neither of you is the expert on everything, and that is exactly why you need each other.
The Christian tradition that gave us these words holds that love like this is not only possible but worth pursuing with everything you have. It is not easy. No one who has been married long will tell you it is easy. But it is good. And it is worth it.
May your love be patient and kind. May it bear and believe and hope and endure. And may the life you build together be marked by justice, faithfulness, and the grace to walk humbly with each other through every day that comes.
Sources Consulted
Gordon D. Fee, The First Epistle to the Corinthians, New International Commentary on the New Testament, Eerdmans, 1987.
David E. Garland, 1 Corinthians, Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament, Baker Academic, 2003.
Bruce K. Waltke, A Commentary on Micah, Eerdmans, 2007.
Thomas R. Schreiner, 1 Corinthians, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries, IVP Academic, 2018.
Gary D. Chapman, Covenant Marriage: Building Communication and Intimacy, Broadman and Holman, 2003.
Before preaching: verify every biblical reference, replace general language only with couple-approved details, and revise the message in your own Christian tradition and pastoral voice.