A Merry Heart And A Faithful One
Good afternoon, everyone. We are gathered here today for one of the happiest events that human beings ever get to witness. There is a wedding happening. And if you have been to a few weddings, you know that people tend to cry at them, which is interesting, because weddings are supposed to be celebrations. Somewhere along the way, we decided that the appropriate response to great joy is to reach for a tissue. That tells you something about how deep this moment really goes.
Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, wrote in Proverbs 17:22 these words: "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones." Now Solomon wrote a great deal about marriage. He also wrote a great deal about wisdom. And I think he understood something that we sometimes forget in all the solemnity of a wedding ceremony: God is not opposed to joy. In fact, God invented it. The same God who designed covenant love also designed laughter, and He put them both inside the same institution. That is not an accident.
So today we are going to talk about a marriage that is full of joy, full of grace, and full of the kind of love that actually holds together when life gets complicated. Because here is the truth: a wedding is a single day, but a marriage is a whole life. And you are going to need more than flowers and a beautiful venue to build what God has in mind for the two of you.
The Joyful Heart That Solomon Described
Let us stay with Proverbs 17:22 for just a moment. Solomon says a joyful heart is good medicine. The Hebrew word behind "joyful" carries the sense of gladness, of brightness, of something that radiates outward. Solomon is not talking about forced cheerfulness or the kind of smile you paste on when you do not mean it. He is talking about a genuine, deep-seated gladness that changes the atmosphere around it.
In a marriage, that kind of joy is not automatic. It is cultivated. It is chosen. It is the fruit of two people who have decided to be for each other, to delight in each other, to find the humor in the ordinary Tuesday and not just the extraordinary Saturday. A joyful heart in a marriage means you laugh together. It means you do not take every small frustration as a referendum on the relationship. It means you are genuinely glad that this particular person is the one you come home to.
Solomon also says that a broken spirit dries up the bones. He is describing what happens when joy drains out of a home. Bitterness, resentment, and unresolved grievances do not just make a marriage unpleasant. They hollow it out. They make it brittle. The antidote is not pretending everything is fine. The antidote is the kind of joyful, grace-filled heart that Paul describes in Colossians 3.
The Clothed Life That Paul Described
Turn now to Colossians 3:12-17. Paul writes: "Therefore, as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved, put on compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a grievance against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you are also to forgive. Above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ, to which you were also called in one body, rule in your hearts. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Paul uses the image of clothing. He says put on these things. That is a daily action. You do not put on clothes once and then never think about them again. Every morning you make a choice. And Paul is saying that every morning in a marriage, you make a choice about who you are going to be toward your spouse.
Notice what is on the list. Compassion. Kindness. Humility. Gentleness. Patience. These are not dramatic, headline-grabbing virtues. They are the quiet, steady, daily virtues that make a home feel safe and warm. They are the virtues that make someone glad to walk through the front door at the end of a long day.
And then Paul says, above all, put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Love is the garment that holds all the other garments together. It is the belt, if you will, that keeps everything else in place.
The Foundation Beneath The Joy
Here is what I want you to understand about everything Paul has just described. He does not say, "Put on these things because you feel like it." He says, "Put on these things as God's chosen ones, holy and dearly loved." The foundation of your ability to love each other well is not your own emotional reserves. It is the love that God has already shown you in Jesus Christ.
Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her. That is the model. That is the source. When you run low on patience, when forgiveness feels costly, when gentleness is the last thing you feel like offering, you go back to the cross. You remember what it cost God to be for you. And from that deep well, you draw the grace to be for each other.
The joy that Solomon commends and the love that Paul describes are both rooted in the gospel. A marriage built on Christ is not a marriage that will be free of difficulty. But it will be a marriage that has a place to turn when difficulty comes.
A Charge And A Blessing
So here is the charge I leave with the two of you. Laugh together often. Choose joy as a daily discipline. Put on compassion and kindness every morning the way you put on your shoes. Let the peace of Christ be the referee in your home. And when you fail each other, and you will, because you are human, forgive the way you have been forgiven.
May your home be full of warmth and laughter. May your love be deep and steady and kind. And may the Lord Jesus Christ be the honored guest at every table you ever share.
Sources Consulted
Duane A. Garrett, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, New American Commentary (Broadman and Holman, 1993).
Bruce K. Waltke, The Book of Proverbs: Chapters 15-31, New International Commentary on the Old Testament (Eerdmans, 2005).
Douglas J. Moo, The Letters to the Colossians and to Philemon, Pillar New Testament Commentary (Eerdmans, 2008).
F. F. Bruce, The Epistles to the Colossians, to Philemon, and to the Ephesians, New International Commentary on the New Testament (Eerdmans, 1984).
Tremper Longman III, Proverbs, Baker Commentary on the Old Testament Wisdom and Psalms (Baker Academic, 2006).
Before preaching: verify every biblical reference, replace general language only with couple-approved details, and revise the message in your own Christian tradition and pastoral voice.